Tuesday, August 13, 2013

One of those moments... Staring at nothing... far beyond

It's one of those moments where I wanna stare
I don't wanna stare at something in particular
I just feel the urge to stare 

I try to know why I insist on staring 
I start to list the things that are not reasons for my sudden urge to stare rather than listing the reasons themselves
How odd?

So I say 
It isn't about getting concerned about how my brothers gonna succeed in their life in the future
It isn't about how that "relatively" big amount of money I have isn't enough to to fulfill my dreams 
It isn't about rethinking my life
It isn't about how wrong/right the path I took in my life
It isn't about whether my personality fits the age of 2000s... or should I shape it to fit so
It isn't about doing something else to be like anyone else... instead of doing my thing and be nothing
It isn't about the thought of "I'm the right man in the wrong world"
It isn't about why the world still has poverty while we are manufacturing artificially processed chocolate and milk pills called smarties
It isn't about how people are suffering to get their "own way of freedom" rather than "freedom"
It isn't about how people kill each other in the name of religion

The thing is... I just wanna stare
So I get myself looking at my computer monitor while actually staring at something very very far away
Looking at the monitor is a good way to cover the staring action though 

Part of me says I had to stop it
But I can't help it
the other part says just keep this staring at nothing far beyond up


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