Thursday, October 2, 2014

Small Room. Big World

Everything happened so fast. I was losing myself to final fantasy online and then I am in a small room in Bundoora sitting, studying, struggling and contemplating about my future. 

I've been asked by many students and instructors questions about why I am studying or what my future plans are after the masters. 
Sometimes I say for self development 
other times I say for professional development... like they are different. 
But actually, I don't know what my future plans are. 
Although sometimes professional development seems a logical reason 
but I am not sure if studying can improve me in my career. 
Like Studying and work!
It has been proved that they are different 
Like apple and orange. 
Very different
The idea of studying is clear but the goal is vague... at least for now. 
I don't wanna think too much about it though

Anyway, I am not studying my main course though. I am in an English course for ten week. 
Five weeks is left. 
Even though I am very good in English, 
I am kinda struggling 
that because the course is not about speaking English or just writing in English. 
It is about reading and writing literature, literature reviews, 
searching and researching academic articles and researches. 
And it is my first time searching for books, article and researches in the library, 
some of which are very technical and very hard to read or understand. 
The academic English is very different than the "regular" English we use everyday 
and they say many students, who are very good in English, may fail. 
I am doing great though and I am enjoying.
I am just gonna wing it.

Though the hard time I'm facing in studying is nothing compared to being alone. 
I am  alone in Bundoora. 
I hate being alone. 
I miss a good company. 
maybe a family. 
and of course girls :p
I couldn't find a homestay so I went for student accommodation. 
Many students there
However, I couldn't blend in. 
I don't know. 
Maybe that's why I didn't go outdoor a lot in Gold Coast 
which is weird. 
I used to walk at every street in Gold Coast but now I feel tired. 
I'm having fun by just staying with my friends. 
I can't stay away from Gold Coast night life 
I will shake my ground a little in any night club :p
In Melbourne if not in Gold Coast 

Side Note: 
I am funding myself which means I am paying myself "Mr. obvious" 
My further studies application has not been accepted in my work place yet I am studying
Which means financial problems are imminent 
Not for now cause my salary is still flowing 
but definitely by next year if my application didn't pass through 
In a rich country, that is absurd 
But they have their rules and regulations for such applications 
And I have the right to study anyway 
It might be a stunt
or sorta gambling .
But I am doing it anyway
I wanna see how far I can go with this!

Tuesday, June 24, 2014



كالعادة وبكل سفرة خارج منطقة الشرق الاوسط أرى الابتسامة

الكاشير يبتسم
اللي تحط الاغراض بالسوبر ماركت تبتسم
سائق التاكسي
حتى الفقير المشرَّد اللي مقطوعة يده اليمين وعلى كرسيّه المتحرك عند محل تارقت يبتسم
رغم قساوة الحياة

البلد معروف عنها ببلد الحرية
قاعد أتنفس الحرية بأرضه وجمهوره
وقاعد آكل برغر بين أرضه وجمهوره
لكن بنفس الوقت البلد ما ترحم
اللي ما يشتغل راح ينتهي هوملِس

على كلام روبِرتو المكسيكي
اذا تبي تشتغل راح تلقى الشغل
واذا ما تبي تشتغل راح تقعد هوملِس ورافع كرتون كاتب فيه قصة حياته
وتدور على حشيش وويسكي

احد الممرضات تقول ان اهلها بولاية ويسكانسن
وتشتغل هني بولاية مينيسوتا
وتسكن بشقة مشتركة مع بنتين
وشغالة بكل اجتهاد

روبِرتو طلع من المكسيك وتوظف بالولاية
وتم علاجه من مرض القلب بتكلفة امية وعشرين الف دولار
تكلفة لا يستطيع دفعها
وعنده عيال ما شافهم من فترة بسبب الطلاق
وهو يعمل سائق بكل اجتهاد

عبدالرحمن... اعتقد اسمه عبدالرحمن
صومالي ويشتغل سائق الصبح وحارس مواقف سيارات بالليل
يقول انا ما احب اتكلم عن السياسة
ولو ابي اكون سياسي كان درست علوم سياسية
عبدالرحمن يبي يجمع فلوس عشان يدرس تمريض واسعاف
وايضا ماليا يساعد اهله

الغريب اللي بالشارع
لا يعرفني ولا اعرفه

شنو سر ابتسامتهم؟
ما أحب افكر وايد وأفكر وأحلل سر ابتسامتهم
لأنهم كفار طبعا
لا أتغشمر

الابتسامة اهي ابتسامة
ودام الشعب مبتسم انا ايضا مبتسم واعيش لحظة الابتسامة
رغم ان اخوي مريض وقاعد يتعالج

بس أعتقد... أعتقد
ابتسامتهم هي خليط من الحرية
كل واحد يسعى لتكوين نفسه ويعيش حياته بنفسه
دون قيود الاهل والمجتمع
بالاضافة الى ذلك... الفرد يعيش يعيش كإنسان
واذا أخطأ... المجتمع ما يعتبره منبوذ
بالنهاية هو انسان
يصيب ويخطي
مش ملاك

على طاري الملاك
انشالله راجع لبلد الملائكة اللي لا يخطئون... الكويت
على الاسبوع الجاي
وأترك اخوي مع الوالدة بعد ما تعدى المرحلة الحرجة من العلاج
لأني تعبت
وعندي شغل بالديرة

بنفس الوقت أفكر تكون لي زيارة ثانية لأمريكا
بمناسبة غير مرافق مريض
سياحة مثلا
دراسة مثلا
كاليفورنيا وفيغاس ومسخرة وعمات عين مثلا

Enjoy life

Friday, May 30, 2014

It's about my bro

Hi ppl of blue planet earth,
I'm writing this to you as I am breathing freedom right from the land of freedom.
Though it pains me a little that I had to enjoy this while my brother is having his health issues treated in here.
But you know ... Overall... I'm enjoying this
It's like sour and sweet
And it isn't like I've never been through situation similar to this 

My bro Faisal is having kidney issues since the day he got into this world. His right kidney is working 8% now which is considered not functional and the other one is sore but can do the job. He've been through many surgeries in Kuwait and the doctors said he can live with these kidneys and he'll be fine with them though in that time his right kidney was working 20% with growth injection when he was infant.

Starting this year, he just keeps getting fever and back pain every 3 weeks or so . The doctors in Kuwait did just fine collecting data about his kidney issues but his health keeps deteriorating so he applied for US hospitalization.

Tonight he'll be having a surgery to remove the right kidney. It's small and non functional besides it's causing him reflexes of urine and infection in it . plus, the reflexes of urine back into his body results in infection reaching the good sore kidney so they'll have to work on that too but this is for later

Long story short, he'll be having a surgery for small right kidney removal and inshalla it will succeed.

Sigh, this was not the plan as I'm supposed to write something about myself
But why not write something about my brother and the situation am in.
Besides, family is part of myself... That no doubt for a 28 years old guy who got born and raised with his family for 28 years

BTW am in Minnesota state, Minneapolis city. Any one, preferably a girl, there who'd like to say hi let me know 😝

Saturday, December 28, 2013

New Year's Resolution 2014 + Reviewing My 2013

Hi ppl of blue planed Earth,
I know.. I know that my activities in social network dropped to its lowest levels recently
That because I was very very very busy lately
And that brings me to an interesting thought
I'm starting to believe that at the end of every year, something "life changing" happens
That was the pattern over the past three or four years
The year starts boring then interesting (mid year) then mind blowing at the end of the year
This year is no different. Except it was mind blowing for good

Firstly, let me review my last year's resolutions which are:

  • Change of a career  --> Fail
  • Continue to take care of my brothers and beat manners into them --> Success... and it will always be :D 
  • Travel to USA --> Fail... I didn't get the Visa and it's still under processing since October 2012. I have traveled to Australia instead :D 
  • Buy a new mobile phone --> Success... I have my shiny new Google LG Nexus 5 and I happen to love it :D 
That sums up my last year's resolution. Well the main task was "Change of a career" and I failed in that 
It sounds as simple as "I'll change my job" 
but it doesn't 
Actually I needed "Wasta" LOOOOL
Well I feel relatively bad about that I couldn't get a new career
But I'm very happy!
I passed the CCNA Exam and I'm a Certified Cisco Network Associate
I know that it's nothing compared to my peers who may got the PHD level of networking
And I know that I will not work on Cisco Networks at my work place cause all I do is paperwork
But it means a lot to me
It gave me a big boost towards carrying through self development and having more knowledge
And more importantly, it gives me a sense of achievement in my kinda boring life

Though I have new resolutions... new goals for 2014. Which are:
  • Study more. Maybe I'll study CCNP, the professional level of Cisco Networks 
  • Apply for a Master Degree Program overseas
Well That's all.
I make it sounds easy LOL
Well... I'm looking forward to challenges, successes and failures

Before ending the post I'd like to say something to those who are "giving up everything although there's a chance to correct things":
You'll fail
You'll get Emo
You'll feel bad
really really bad
You'll feel the world is so heavy on your shoulders
and it is
But don't give up everything when you still have chance
Maybe "the chance you didn't take" is the one that would've fixed all things up and put you on the right track
Consume all your chances
Don't just give up

Anyways all ppl of blue planet earth,
I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy wonderful year full of great adventures and accomplishments

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Chat at Work - 2 - Freedom is about parties and Hentai

The chat continues. One topic led to another and we were talking about relationships

I said something like:
Why are we forced to live most of our life under the control of our parents?
Like they decide:
Where should I stay?
When can I go outdoor?
Sometimes... what should I study?
Whom should I marry?

Well I can understand such control till I reach the age of 20 
After 20 it doesn't make sense
I imagine a place where every 20 and above "human" can decide where to stay, what to study, whom to love and all. I bet it will be better than familial, tribal control.
I mean better than a community system that suggests long term control of their youths's way of life and behavior.
Usually, western countries allow their young ppl to have the freedom to live their own life at a certain age. When I look at these countries I see that young ppl there are:
Much better in the personal level
More passionate 
More self reliant 
More confident
Maybe that's why I see Kuwaitis who studied at western universities are the best when it comes to soft skills and decision making 

I can see the "?!" on the heads of my friends
One freind, a girl with the name "Afrah", said "Waleed... You're seeing things with your own eyes. Others see something different on their own eyes"!
She said that those countries with such way of life have good education. That's why they tend to have good and responsible people.
And that if Kuwait is granted such life, it will be chaos. Boys will make parties everywhere. It just doesn't suit our society.

Well I got the hidden message in what Afrah said
She said "Education" huh
We can always improve our educational system

The hidden message in all what she said is something like "The age of consent"
Giving youth the freedom to seek the life they want --> parties --> coitus --> chaos
Why does it have to be about coitus?

That reminds me of the "super ultra ultimate limited edition questions" that guys used to toss on every discussion table.
Do you accept that for your sister?
Do you allow your daughter to do that?

If you're asked such questions, what would be your answer?
I used to do the "face palm"
Because it would take me a lot of time going through finding logic & brain farting to find the answer :D
Some people can go as far to say something like "Do you allow your sister go to parties and dance if there is a night club in Failaka?"
Straight to my face
Sigh... I really like those people

The answer is -after going through finding logic & brain farting-:
First of all, my father is still living and kicking. He's the one responsible to allow her to go parties or not. But if you ask me "Do you allow your daughter to go to parties?" I would say it depends because you know there are "good parties" and "bad parties".
"birthday parties" are good parties while "striping parties" are bad parties
But if you insist on giving answer I would say "No"
Why? cause I live defensively. I have to protect the ones I love. I can't let my daughter just wander around a cruel world where everyone looking for raw meat
But at the same time I believe that there is a community, within our society, that allow their beloved young boys and girls to live independent life and protect them at the same time

But as I said, I get too confused to answer these question LOL
You know the pressure, tension and all
Some times I don't even "face palm"
Why do I "face palm"?
I know how brain works in most of the people of this society
I know what are they afraid of
I know what's in their "end of the tunnel"... It's coitus

I was talking about the right of being "independent" but friends keep bringing coitus and link it to "freedom"
That makes me wonder "Are they really listening to me?"

Some how, Afrah changed the subject

She was talking about some weird guys. Two guys to be specific
The first guy I should call him "The scientifically honest" guy
That guy said to his old single sister "I know that you have your needs like eating and drinking. I bet you need sex since you're not married. If you need to have sex, don't worry.
Just let me know and I'll arrange that"
And he does arrange that
-- well, sex isn't basically "a need" for human. That is scientifically proven. 
Because we will die if we don't eat or drink but on the other hand we won't die if we don't have sex. 
Though I can approve that one would die "inside" from lack of sex LOL --

The other guy is "the Hentai" guy
She said that he told her that he does "wife swap". It's like he make a deal with other couples to do the "wife swap" and they practice it at chalets
So if they were two couples, they book for two chalets
and if they were three couples, they would book three chalets
-- first of all, the chalets part falls under "too much information" milady. 
Second, wife swap!... that's gross. 

Everybody was in shock from the "wife swap" story. It's when another friend, a guy, interfered to add his story.
-- I should tell you that this friend is an athletic guy. He plays Judo and regularly builds his body in gym. Long story short, he's a handsome black guy with big muscles and six packs that make most of the girls drool -Now that you call "too much info"--
Anyways, He said he met a guy. That guy is a "friend of his friend".
So they became friends, exchanged phone numbers, hangout together and all.
One day that friend told him something like:
" I want you to be a friend who's always with me. You can stay at my family's home whenever you like. You can even hangout with my sisters, like you're one of the family.
And I want you to be with me, hangout together and do shopping together. You choose clothes for me. I can buy you gifts"
-- It turned out that man is gay and that the man is offering something like "Gay marriage" --
As soon as he finished telling his story, Afrah said:
"This is the freedom that Waleed wants"

I can swear that it took me like one tenth of millisecond to react:
And linking freedom to all those stories is not fair
This time, I had to "face palm"

That's all


Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Chat at work -1- Your pants should be identical to mine

One friend, a girl, talked about how people are dressed these days. She was complaining rather than talking I must say. It was about:
Girls with little to zero hair on one side of their head leaving the other side with long hair
guys wearing low waist jeans with underwear shines out for public to see
Girls showing their sexy curves
Guys showing their extraordinary muscles
Weird mustache
chest hair
among many other things

She says
What's with those people?
How they wear something like that?
It's 3aib "Aiyb"
People shouldn't be allowed to wear that
Guys should be forced to join military to be real men instead of wearing low waist jeans and do weird haircuts

I was in total disagreement with her as I see that everyone should have the freedom to dress as they like.
Most of my friends disagree with me if not all of them though, which I find weird. I thought that they would agree with me but that didn't happen

"You know what's the story behind low waist jeans" one friend,  a guy, said
I said "It has some story and I don't wanna talk about it".
I could see it in the eyes of the girls... Yes curiosity it is LOL
It's something about the color of the boxer that shows the "sexual status" of prisoners. It was used as a signal that says "I'm horny and I'm available".
Anyways I told my friend that I know. And I know the story behind punk and the story behind emos as well but I believe that:
Everyone should wear what they want
Everyone can cut their hair the way they like
Everyone should have the freedom to express their own style

I myself don't like turban. Hate it I should say. I hate silky floral pants too. But I don't go as far to say that women shouldn't be allowed to wear turban
or "Floral pants are not allowed at work place"
or even despise the people who take turban or whatever as their style

-BTW I don't like guys showing their chest hair cause I don't know what does "showing chest hair" supposed to mean. Plus, I don't have chest hair-

And come on guys we travel overseas walking beside nearly naked people and have no problem with that. So why is it when we come back to our home we start complaining about citizens wearing this and that.

Friends keep listing reasons that I see unreasonable

"It isn't beautiful. They shouldn't wear it"
I, myself, have my own standard of beauty. I keep it for myself though. I don't force anyone to follow my "beauty standards" nor do I try to despise non-followers

"Some times I don't blame guys for harassing a girl wearing this"
What is that bullshit?
Then tell me what is the minimum requirements of clothing that would make a girl safe from harassment?
Let me say something to you. I saw guys despise and neglect "tight jeans" girls for "black Abaya and burqa". Following them... flirting with them... and trying to harras them
Harassment will not stop
Unless women wear a big  wide black sack that shows nothing... absolutely nothing. Not even eyes. And that is arguable too

"Religion doesn't allow that"
Don't get me started. If you say religion then I would assume you mean the religion that states women are allowed to show face and hands only. Streets filled with women all in black would make our religion.
You got told that this is our religion mate
but in fact... it isn't
Go read history books about Muslim's social life throughout the history of Islam and you'll know what I mean.

Flight crew didn't mention anything about dress code to the passengers coming to Kuwait
Because there isn't any

The chat continues. One topic led to another and we were talking about relationships

To be continued...


Tuesday, August 13, 2013

One of those moments... Staring at nothing... far beyond

It's one of those moments where I wanna stare
I don't wanna stare at something in particular
I just feel the urge to stare 

I try to know why I insist on staring 
I start to list the things that are not reasons for my sudden urge to stare rather than listing the reasons themselves
How odd?

So I say 
It isn't about getting concerned about how my brothers gonna succeed in their life in the future
It isn't about how that "relatively" big amount of money I have isn't enough to to fulfill my dreams 
It isn't about rethinking my life
It isn't about how wrong/right the path I took in my life
It isn't about whether my personality fits the age of 2000s... or should I shape it to fit so
It isn't about doing something else to be like anyone else... instead of doing my thing and be nothing
It isn't about the thought of "I'm the right man in the wrong world"
It isn't about why the world still has poverty while we are manufacturing artificially processed chocolate and milk pills called smarties
It isn't about how people are suffering to get their "own way of freedom" rather than "freedom"
It isn't about how people kill each other in the name of religion

The thing is... I just wanna stare
So I get myself looking at my computer monitor while actually staring at something very very far away
Looking at the monitor is a good way to cover the staring action though 

Part of me says I had to stop it
But I can't help it
the other part says just keep this staring at nothing far beyond up