Thursday, October 2, 2014

Small Room. Big World

Everything happened so fast. I was losing myself to final fantasy online and then I am in a small room in Bundoora sitting, studying, struggling and contemplating about my future. 

I've been asked by many students and instructors questions about why I am studying or what my future plans are after the masters. 
Sometimes I say for self development 
other times I say for professional development... like they are different. 
But actually, I don't know what my future plans are. 
Although sometimes professional development seems a logical reason 
but I am not sure if studying can improve me in my career. 
Like Studying and work!
It has been proved that they are different 
Like apple and orange. 
Very different
The idea of studying is clear but the goal is vague... at least for now. 
I don't wanna think too much about it though

Anyway, I am not studying my main course though. I am in an English course for ten week. 
Five weeks is left. 
Even though I am very good in English, 
I am kinda struggling 
that because the course is not about speaking English or just writing in English. 
It is about reading and writing literature, literature reviews, 
searching and researching academic articles and researches. 
And it is my first time searching for books, article and researches in the library, 
some of which are very technical and very hard to read or understand. 
The academic English is very different than the "regular" English we use everyday 
and they say many students, who are very good in English, may fail. 
I am doing great though and I am enjoying.
I am just gonna wing it.

Though the hard time I'm facing in studying is nothing compared to being alone. 
I am  alone in Bundoora. 
I hate being alone. 
I miss a good company. 
maybe a family. 
and of course girls :p
I couldn't find a homestay so I went for student accommodation. 
Many students there
However, I couldn't blend in. 
I don't know. 
Maybe that's why I didn't go outdoor a lot in Gold Coast 
which is weird. 
I used to walk at every street in Gold Coast but now I feel tired. 
I'm having fun by just staying with my friends. 
I can't stay away from Gold Coast night life 
I will shake my ground a little in any night club :p
In Melbourne if not in Gold Coast 

Side Note: 
I am funding myself which means I am paying myself "Mr. obvious" 
My further studies application has not been accepted in my work place yet I am studying
Which means financial problems are imminent 
Not for now cause my salary is still flowing 
but definitely by next year if my application didn't pass through 
In a rich country, that is absurd 
But they have their rules and regulations for such applications 
And I have the right to study anyway 
It might be a stunt
or sorta gambling .
But I am doing it anyway
I wanna see how far I can go with this!


Seema* said...

Don't over think or worry.
You'll do great.
I know you will.

Good luck anyway.
And may Allah be always with you.
: )

Unknown said...

Thank you Seema
May Allah always be with you